Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The Green Me


My favorite color is green.  I do love green.  I thought it only appropriate to share a photo of me with a little green tint to it.  Why not?


The Day My Parents Thought I Was a Lesbian

I was 15 years old, a sophomore in high school.  A daily history class bored me to tears and I would write my notes backward, from right to left and even turned in my assignments that way.  I had to study with a mirror!  

Anyway, I received a love letter from Dave one day in the mail.  I knew who he was - he was a senior at another high school, and just a friend.  His letter rambled on for five pages, announcing his heartfelt love for me.  It also included an invitation to his senior prom which I would never even think about attending given the fact I had extremely strict parents.

So as I was sitting in History class pondering how to respond to this letter, an idea came to me.  The thought of hurting his feelings with my rejection was too much to bear.  So what if I told him I was a lesbian and therefore it wouldn't even make sense for me to date him or attend his prom?  In the next hour I wrote a three page letter to Dave, fabricating this amazing story of how I have always known I was attracted to girls but I just didn't know how to tell the world, but I felt like he would understand, blah blah blah.  As I signed my name the bell rang, signaling the end of class.  

At home I would stuff the letter in my jewelry box.  I never did get the chance to send it.  About 3 weeks later mom picks me up at school to take me to a doctor appointment.  I get in the station wagon.  She's in hysterics about something.  I thought someone in our family must have died or something.  She's blubbering and bawling and kept saying, "First of all, do you know that we love you NO MATTER WHAT?"  I kept asking her what was wrong but she just kept repeating her question...I then ask her what she found, as she was famous for snooping through all things "private" in our house.  

She says, "I found this letter in your jewelry box."  I couldn't believe it.  I started laughing and told her it was just a joke and I decided to never send it, got a love letter, didn't want to hurt his feelings, etc.  I thought she'd start laughing too and we'd chuckle all the way to Dr. F's office, but no - she thought I was just too mortified to tell anyone (as I'd described at length in my faux letter).  She then tells me she called up Dad at work and told him and she also had contacted a crisis hotline about it.  They wanted me in counseling ASAP.

I just couldn't get over the fact that my dad now thought his first child was a lesbian.  And she snooped.  And she called a CRISIS hotline!  For three days I tried to convince them that the letter was a fabricated story, used to pass the time in a monotonous History class.  

At the end of that three days, I'm not quite sure what it was that convinced them I was telling them the truth.  My dad sat me down at the kitchen table and tried to be stern with his "Your sexuality is nothing to joke about" lecture that had me in fits of giggles.  My grandma was even there when they made me tear up the letter into tiny pieces before their very eyes.  I kind of wish I still had the letter because it would be oh so fun to read at this point in my life.

So there it is...the time my parents thought I was gay.  For three days.  It is still joked about at family dinners occasionally.  

And for the record...I am most certainly not a lesbian.  Not that there's anything wrong with lesbians.  I just happen to be of the heterosexual variety.

Dave, I wonder what ever happened to you!?

Sunday, November 16, 2008

The Cliche ABOUT ME Survey

Ok...I'm going to do one of these.  These silly little surveys that remind me a little bit about playing M.A.S.H when I was a kid.  Maybe so you can feel you know me a little bit, but mostly because I haven't really thought about myself much for so long that I may even surprise myself with the answers.  I hope I don't discover I'm hopelessly BORING!

My name:  Jennifer
Most people call me:  Jen, sometimes Jenny, and rarely Jennifer, oh - and MOM of course.
I have:  Long blond hair with some gray thrown in (so sad, I know) and green eyes
Age: Will be 31 in January.
Fave meal:  Roasted chicken with mashed potatoes, stuffing, asparagus, cranberry sauce, and pumpkin pie.  Real comfort food!!
My family:  One wonderful husband, 3 wonderful children, one sweet & sappy dog, two younger sisters, 5 brother-in-laws, a bunch of cousins, fabulous aunts & uncles, etc.  And two parents who have been married since 1973.  And my maternal grandparents are still alive and kickin' it.
Fave movies:  I love The Princess Bride, Braveheart, and for all silliness - Romeo & Michelle's High School Reunion.
Fave TV shows:  The Office, Greys Anatomy, and The Preview Channel.
Fave dessert:  I love me some chocolate, and lots of it!
Fave book:  The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls.  I got to listen to her speak this fall and she signed my book.  It was fascinating!
Things you enjoy doing:  I love the outdoors, especially camping and hiking.  I love baking and I am always accused of sabotaging (sp?) diets.  But in an oh so delicious way!  I love helping people, love spending time with my family, and when I can, I love to get away and just revel in silence, something I rarely get to enjoy.
Where's your best friend?  He's at work, on a Sunday night.
Are you mad at someone?  I'm always slightly to moderately irritated with a member of the family at any given moment.
Last place you bought something from?  A blizzard from Dairy Queen a couple of hours ago.
How tall are you?  5'4
If you had to choose an age to remain for the rest of your life, what would it be?  I don't think I've gotten to an age I would like to be forever just yet.
What's something in your past you wish you could relive?  Family dinners at my grandmother's house.  She died of brain cancer when I was 17 and I still miss her and think about her every day!
Do you like pickles?  Nope, can't stand em.  I also don't eat ketchup or mustard or a lot of other normal things.
Have you sung out loud today?  Yes, my absolute best renditions of some Queen songs.
What was the last movie you watched?  Into the Wild but I fell asleep about halfway through so tonight I'm going to finish it.
Describe your best friend in 3 words:  sexy, hairy, masculine (he's my hubby!)
Can you dance?  I don't know if I CAN but I DO.  Several times a day, the silliest stuff you could ever imagine.  Usually to get my mood back up and to make my kids laugh.  I did take about 8 years of classical ballet though so there is some grace hidden in there somewhere.
Do you like taking pictures?  I love it but sometimes just can't do it when I'm chasing my almost 2 yr old, 5 yr old, and taking care of my 4 month old.  Thank God for my dad, the family photographer.
Are there any famous people you'd like to meet?  Nah.  But I did meet Tim Robbins at the Atlanta airport once.  I was extremely intoxicated and literally ran into him.  I just remember him being VERY tall.  I think I annoyed him.
How often do you tan?  I am ridiculously pale....but I do like to use a bronzing lotion on my face so I show up in photos.  :)
Do you play any musical instruments?  I play the piano - lots of lessons so I can bang out a tune pretty well.
Do you have a good sense of style?  I am in a style rut and I am desperately hoping someone will nominate me for that "What Not To Wear" show.  I'm being very serious!!!
What do you do to relax?  A glass of red wine helps....so does a good book, and some time away from the house and the kids.
Do you like kids?  I sure hope so.  I've got three of my own plus a home daycare.  I'm in kid mode ALL THE TIME!!!
Do you have any fears?  I do not like spiders, REALLY do not like spiders!

Some other things about me:
I wore a back brace for years as a teen.
I didn't get along with my sisters very well until after high school.
I never graduated from college, one of my biggest regrets.
I worked in Human Resources/recruiting before leaving corporate America to stay home and do in-home daycare.  Been doing it for almost 3 years and still loving it.
I am a people pleaser.
It is extremely important to me to be a good mom and a good wife.
My sisters are my best friends.
I get along with and actually enjoy the company of my mother-in-law.
I like to watch football.
I feel guilty if I'm not doing something productive.
I hate clutter but can't seem to get rid of it.
I could spend 24 hours cleaning and it would just be messy again the next day.
I am a list-writer.
I don't like to go to the doctor - for almost anything.
I had encephalitis once and it was awful - knocked me down for 5 days.
I rarely get sick!
I am not a high maintenance girl - rarely wear jewelry and NEVER do my nails or any of that stuff.  But I do like to wear makeup.
I hate to shop - and if I have to, I like to do it online.
I love getting the mail everyday, even though it's almost always junk and bills.  Receiving a package is thrilling to me.
I look forward to the day my husband and I can take a vacation just the two of us.
My parents thought I was a lesbian for about 3 days when I was 15.  It's an interesting story and I may just have to blog about it soon.  One of the funnier moments (not at the time) of my teen years.
My 3rd child was born at home, a planned home birth (attended by a midwife).
I was labeled "the smart girl" all through school.
I LOVE the smell of clean laundry.
One of my fave shows as a child was Fraggle Rock.
If I don't have a stash of chocolate hidden somewhere in the house, I start to feel panic.
I wonder if anybody is still reading this blog entry!!!

That's it for tonight.  Will share the story from my past tomorrow.  Maybe.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

The Invisible Mother

Someone sent me an email recently entitled "The Invisible Mother."  It made me cry.  Not much makes me cry these days as I am a "warrior mom" spending all my waking moments trying to keep it all together!  I can relate to so much of this...Motherhood has been the most incredible experience of my life and I do embrace this experience wholeheartedly.  However, there are many times when I feel there is no room left for thoughts of my own, new ideas - little time to spend as my own unique person.  So when I think about my BLOG, I think it will have to take on a life of its own, as I am not even sure where to start.  Who will even want to read it?  My life is so not glamorous or even funny in my book.  I'm sure I will have lots to share of my life as a mother, but it is my hope that I can rediscover Jen, the Jen that's hiding in there, who wants to remember a time when she had witty thoughts and fun, creative ideas.  Where are you, creative Jen?  This is only the beginning...

Please google "The Invisible Mother."