Anyway, I received a love letter from Dave one day in the mail. I knew who he was - he was a senior at another high school, and just a friend. His letter rambled on for five pages, announcing his heartfelt love for me. It also included an invitation to his senior prom which I would never even think about attending given the fact I had extremely strict parents.
So as I was sitting in History class pondering how to respond to this letter, an idea came to me. The thought of hurting his feelings with my rejection was too much to bear. So what if I told him I was a lesbian and therefore it wouldn't even make sense for me to date him or attend his prom? In the next hour I wrote a three page letter to Dave, fabricating this amazing story of how I have always known I was attracted to girls but I just didn't know how to tell the world, but I felt like he would understand, blah blah blah. As I signed my name the bell rang, signaling the end of class.
At home I would stuff the letter in my jewelry box. I never did get the chance to send it. About 3 weeks later mom picks me up at school to take me to a doctor appointment. I get in the station wagon. She's in hysterics about something. I thought someone in our family must have died or something. She's blubbering and bawling and kept saying, "First of all, do you know that we love you NO MATTER WHAT?" I kept asking her what was wrong but she just kept repeating her question...I then ask her what she found, as she was famous for snooping through all things "private" in our house.
She says, "I found this letter in your jewelry box." I couldn't believe it. I started laughing and told her it was just a joke and I decided to never send it, got a love letter, didn't want to hurt his feelings, etc. I thought she'd start laughing too and we'd chuckle all the way to Dr. F's office, but no - she thought I was just too mortified to tell anyone (as I'd described at length in my faux letter). She then tells me she called up Dad at work and told him and she also had contacted a crisis hotline about it. They wanted me in counseling ASAP.
I just couldn't get over the fact that my dad now thought his first child was a lesbian. And she snooped. And she called a CRISIS hotline! For three days I tried to convince them that the letter was a fabricated story, used to pass the time in a monotonous History class.
At the end of that three days, I'm not quite sure what it was that convinced them I was telling them the truth. My dad sat me down at the kitchen table and tried to be stern with his "Your sexuality is nothing to joke about" lecture that had me in fits of giggles. My grandma was even there when they made me tear up the letter into tiny pieces before their very eyes. I kind of wish I still had the letter because it would be oh so fun to read at this point in my life.
So there it is...the time my parents thought I was gay. For three days. It is still joked about at family dinners occasionally.
And for the record...I am most certainly not a lesbian. Not that there's anything wrong with lesbians. I just happen to be of the heterosexual variety.
Dave, I wonder what ever happened to you!?
1 comment:
Ha, that'll teach you to joke about such serious issues lol.
It was a good plan and I'm sure it would've worked although to some of us it would just be a challenge.
I love the way your parents reacted, they were obviously devestated but they were still determined to stick by you (I'm sure you would've got 'better' with counselling).
My daughter and her friend announced they were lesbians last year hoping to shock me (I knew they were joking)I told them that I was glad they had found someone they could truly love, they should always remember to respect each other, be open and honest and be very careful because their relationship was illegal until they reache.
Thanks for this amusing tale, you've put a smile on my face.
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